Thank You, Recca
by Fuuko-san
20th November 2000
9:55p.m.
~*~

It’s weird. Just plain strange. I’ve never felt this way around anyone before. When I’m near you, so close to you that I can almost hear you’re heart beat, I feel different. I’m so close that I can stare right into your vibrant, sea green eyes and just get lost in them. Lost with you.

My head starts to spin like a gentle whirlwind, and the pounding of my heart is furious and quick. For some unexplainable reason, my palms start sweating a little, and my knees get wobbly. I always try my best to hide how I’m feel but sometimes, I think it’s just impossible.

I’m sure you don’t have any idea, just how I feel about you. Next to you, I’m so weak. Helpless most of the time. Perhaps I’, just a burden to you. Just a frail, fragile female- a damsel in distress. Even if I try to punch someone, I know it’ll just be like a hit from a tiny newborn baby. Almost no strength at all, and just a hint of fear.

 You’re so open, not ever afraid to hide your thoughts. Whereas I, can barely say a simple word of greeting to others without blushing or looking down at my feet. You’re so strong. You can face enemies who are twice your height, size and weight. People who bear such a menacing look on their face, it makes me want to faint. But you, can even defeat them all, without breaking a sweat. How can I even compare to you?

Every time, someone tries to hurt me even the slightest bit, I scream and wail - just plain frightened and scared. But no matter what, you always come to my rescue. Each and every time. I know, I don’t have anything to fear, as long as you’re there by my side, with me. But still, I get so afraid. Afraid that the attacker might hurt me. Might hurt you. That’s how timid I really am. And you… are so lion-hearted. You’re never afraid to sacrifice yourself for your loved ones, even when it’s so clear you’ll end up hurting yourself. How do you do that? How can you muster up all that courage?

Whenever I’m feeling under the weather, and just want to fall down and cry, you’re there for me. Just when I need you. You seem to know when I’m in trouble. When the tears are about to spill from my eyes, you’re there. For me. You comfort me in such a soothing tone, that I want to stay in your arms forever. I feel so safe and secure in your arms.

I can’t help but feel guilty whenever you rescue me from a difficult situation. You are the one who ends up getting hurt. You take the blame for what I do. And even then, you still continue to shield me from anyone who might hurt me. Cause me unending pain. But in reality, you’re the one who’s suffering. For me. Why do you have to do that?

As I watch the blood drip to the ground from your numerous wounds, it’s as if everything is in slow motion. The blood. The pained expression on your face. My voice screaming out your name. You eyes, still full of determination and spirit. To protect me. And there’s nothing I can do to help you. All I can do is watch you suffer and tolerate all the pain. For me. It hurts so much. The ache in my heart gets almost unbearable. It’s all because of me that you’re fighting so hard. And getting injured so badly. Just because of me. And I can’t do anything to lessen the pain and torture for you. It makes me feel so guilty that I just want to cry my heart out for you.

But despite all that, you still continue to be loyal to me. You’re still so sweet and nice to me all the time. Each and every day, it lightens up my spirit just seeing the happy smile on your face. Even though I am the one who causes you to get hurt all the time, you still make me feel like the most important girl in the world. A princess. And not just anyone’s hime. Your hime.

Hime… Does that word really fit me? A princess is supposed to be strong. Not only on the inside but also on the outside. A beautiful, kind caring person, who is independent and capable of taking care of herself and the people around her. Do I really have all those qualities in me? Am I really fit to be a hime? I don’t think so.

But even so, you still treat me like one- a wonderful hime. You make me feel so special. Always protecting me from evil maniacs. Caring for me… Comforting me when I’m sad or frustrated. Making me feel like a real, true hime. Something only you, my knight could do. I’m so fortunate to have met someone like you. And to have you serve me as my knight in shining armour. You give me self-confidence and hope. Seeing you battle fearlessly time and time, gives me so much courage, I don’t know what to say. Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

So now, after everything that has happened to us, happened between us, there is only one thing I have to say to you.

Thank you, Recca.

~*~

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