Fuuko just smiled the next day—well, at least she tried, and nothing says more than that. Besides, Mikagami was always not easy to talk to. He really is the Ice Man everyone described him. Fuuko couldn’t believe that until she saw him with her own eyes. Boy, the rest of the team was right. It’s not like Fuuko haven’t seen the “Ice” side of Mikagami before, but that was in battles. Now that she sees him like that in person… Well…it was different.

 “Baka,” Fuuko muttered. She was taking a walk and stopped, looking at the playground. She smiles. She really missed playing here with her sister… No one really knows her, Fuuko decides.

 Without anymore thoughts, Fuuko walked to the deserted playground and walk towards the swing. She took a seat in one of the swings, and it doesn’t take a liposuction to know that she’s a little overweight for the swings. Ah well, Fuuko thought, sneering at herself.

 Fuuko sighed. Why she hadn’t revealed her secrets to the others, she doesn’t know it either. She has her own secrets too, which may never be out…forever. In a way, she is kind of like Mikagami. But that’s really different. Mikagami never reveals anything. At least Fuuko had her say.

 Fuuko began to sway in her swings, humming a little song under her breath. I can never forget that scream… Fuuko thought. She was so young… But that was no time to reminisce about her past. She was never the one to cry, and she was never the one female who’s weak, the damsel-in-distress. She’s not like Yanagi-sama. Not that there’s anything wrong with Yanagi, but Fuuko’s just not like that. This is probably why Recca liked Yanagi better and which is also probably why Recca and Fuuko kept bickering with each other.

 Fuuko just loves to retaliate with guys—guys would never expect it, coming from a girl. Not that they don’t really expect it. Looking at Fuuko once, and they’ll know that Fuuko’s a ‘tomboy’. That’s what everyone else says. They’ll know that Fuuko is no damsel.

 Fuuko began humming the song again under her breath…

 “What are you doing here?”

 “Aaaaiiieee!” Fuuko fell from the swings and onto the ground.

 Isn’t it bad enough that she fell? Now Mikagami had to witness it? “What do you want, Mi-chan?” she snapped. She quickly got up and brushed off the dirt on her jeans.

 “Um…Just want to talk,” Mikagami said, but Fuuko could see that he’s struggling not to smile at her fall.

 “It’s okay, I can take it,” Fuuko said. “Come on, just smile. I know I looked weird and funny falling from the swings like that.” She rolled her eyes as Mikagami finally smiled. “Okay, now matte. I don’t want you to smile forever like that.” What a nightmare that would be, Fuuko thought. “So. You feeling better?”

 “Ano,” Mikagami said, smiling a little. To Fuuko’s utter amazement, Mikagami sat down on one of the swings next to Fuuko’s swing. Okay. Getting weirder by the minute here, Fuuko thought.

 “Sure is a nice breeze today,” Mikagami said. “I wonder if the wind really does follow your mood, Fuuko-san.”

 “Nah.” Fuuko said. “I’m feeling amazed now.”

 “At what?”

 “At how good-mood you are today…”

 “Hmm.”

 Is that all he has to say? Hmmm? Fuuko rolled her eyes and sits on the swing. “So what are you doing here?” she asked him nonchalantly, swinging her swings.

 “Just to clear my mind,” Mikagami said, shrugging indifferently.

 “Hmm, right,” Fuuko said, tracing in the sand with her sneakers. “I do that all the time. And I always come here to reminisce about my sis—hey, what am I doing telling you all this?”

 “Because you follow your instinct,” Mikagami said. He shrugged again.

 “Mikagami, you are a baka,” Fuuko said, smiling. “Oh, shit. I have to get home. Bye.”

***

Fuuko began to think about her conversation with Mikagami for the past two days. He’s strange, sure, but he’s actually okay. He’s not really the kind of guy you would like to talk to, as he can be really cold.

 She thinks again about as what she was about to tell Mikagami that evening—she was horrified to think that she almost told him about her tragedy. This is just so weird. Thinking about it makes Fuuko thought about her mother and her sister. She missed her sister so much… and her mother. Her mother had gone back to Europe, god knows why… The only thing her mother left her to let Fuuko remember of her is—god knows why—a wedding dress. That’s it. A wedding dress. Not a picture, not a locket, not anything that’s ordinary, but a wedding dress. How weird is that?

 Maybe that’s why I love her so much, Fuuko thought. She’s just so quirky. Without even realizing it, Fuuko began to cry a little. “Fuuko, you baka! Why are you crying?” she said to herself, smiling and sniffling. She swept away her tears and took the wedding dress out of an antique-looking kind of box and held it in front of her.

 “Mom must’ve been really beautiful when she gets married,” Fuuko said to herself, smiling. “I wouldn’t be so sure I’d look that beautiful…” she said thoughtfully. “Well, there’s only one way to find out, ne?” With that, Fuuko went into her bedroom with the wedding dress and changed into it.

 After that, she went out into the living room—where the full-sized mirror is—and checked herself out. “Ne, I looked decent at least,” Fuuko said, shrugging indifferently and smiling to herself.

 Suddenly the door opens, revealing Mikagami…again.

 “Aaiii! Mikagami, you baka! I thought I warned you not to use your ensui to pick my lock again!!!” Fuuko screamed on the top of her lungs. Then she realized that she was in a wedding dress. “Oh shit! Get out, get out! You baka!”

 “Nanii? Why would you want to dress up in a wedding dress?” Mikagami said. “Planning to marry soon?”

 “No!” Fuuko said, throwing a box at Mikagami, who dodged it easily. Duh, Fuuko thought. “Get out, Mikagami!” she said, exasperated.

 “Why?” Mikagami thought, letting himself into Fuuko’s house and closing the door behind him. “You look beautiful, Fuuko.”

 “Nanii?! Is this Mikagami talking?!” Fuuko said, laughing. “Oh god, someone possessed your body, Mikagami.”

 “I’m serious,” Mikagami snapped. “Why is it that when I’m trying to be serious, you won’t take me seriously? I was always serious, wasn’t I?” Well, he does look serious.

 “You just don’t sound like your usual serious self, ne?” Fuuko said, laughing again. “Now if you would kindly get out—”

 “Fuuko, come on, you wanted to talk, let’s talk.” Mikagami looked serious.

 Fuuko looked at him and then sighed. “Fine,” she said. “Just let me change out of this wedding dress.” She rolled her eyes and walked toward her bedroom.

 “Don’t change,” Mikagami said. “I really need to talk.”

 “Go to Yanagi! She’s almost like your sister, isn’t she?” Fuuko said.

 “You baka,” Mikagami said, shaking his head. “First you want me to talk, and when I’m ready to talk, you just want to make the time expand—and if that happens, I’ll chicken out.”

 “You? Chicken out?” Fuuko said, smirking. She finally relented on Mikagami’s words. “Fine. Take a seat anywhere you want.”

 “Hmmm.”

 Fuuko took a seat too. “So. Ready to talk yourself out?”

 “Kind of,” he said.

 “Shoot.”

 “Well.” Mikagami sighed. “I think I’m finally over the whole Mifuyu incident, although I cannot say totally. I mean, I still miss her so much and even Yanagi couldn’t replace her. It’s great having someone to talk to, Fuuko. You don’t really know how it is with me.”

 “Yes, I do,” Fuuko said. “I know exactly how you felt.” Just what I went through… “I totally understand.”

 “You do?” Mikagami asked, looking surprised. “I mean, not to sound surprised, but you don’t really come across as a…you know, the damsel-in-distress kind of stuff.”

 Fuuko laughed. “Boy, you know me so well,” she said. “No one really knows me, Mi-chan, even Recca, my former neighbor and childhood friend. I never really tell anyone about it.”

 “Oh.”

 Fuuko sighed. “I miss my sister. And my mom.”

 “Sister?”

 “I’m not ready to tell you about that yet…” Fuuko said, sighing. “Mom has gone back to Europe…god knows why. It’s just that…I wish she was here, you know? To support me with everything.”

 Mikagami looked at Fuuko with new interest. “Well, this is a side I’ve never seen before, Kirisawa Fuuko.” He seemed to smirk, but Fuuko couldn’t really tell.

 “You wouldn’t know,” Fuuko said. “I missed her like you missed Mifuyu. I know, I know, I’m not so unfortunate as to loss her for real. And I at least have this wedding dress to remind me of her…”

 “Oh, so that’s hers.”

 It didn’t come out as a question, but a statement. “Yes, this dress is hers. It’s beautiful, and I’m sure she must’ve looked beautiful in it—and I know for a fact that I don’t look anywhere near beautiful (except decent, perhaps) in this wedding dress.”

 “Fuuko, you don’t know that you looked beautiful in that, do you?”

 “Hmm,” Fuuko said, rolling her eyes. “Nice try. I was lucky I can even fit into it.”

 “Kirisawa Fuuko, you’re kidding yourself.”

 “No I’m not,” Fuuko retorted, her face burnt with embarrassment. “I know…well, I know what guys think of me, Mi-chan. One look at my bust—‘oh, she’s a bimbo!’, you know? I know what people think of me…especially people like Domon and Fujimaru. Do you think that will help me get my confidence? I don’t think so.”

 Mikagami looked at her sternly. “Fuuko, you’re being stubborn. You’re beautiful, all right? You’re not a bimbo—no one looks at you that way”—well, maybe that’s a lie—“and you know that I don’t look at you that way, okay?”

 “Since when do you care? Since when do I care that you care?” Fuuko asked, rolling her eyes. “You think I’m dumb, huh? You know what the others think of me. Domon, Fujimaru, god, perhaps the whole team of Hokage! Even Yanagi, I suppose.”

 “Nanii?” Mikagami said, smiling. “You know that Yanagi would never think of anyone that way.”

 Fuuko snorts. “Ah yes, the sweet, sweet Yanagi that everyone couldn’t help loving,” she said bitterly. “Compared to her, I’m like a tomboy, a bimbo and everything else in between.” She laughed a little. “Maybe that’s why I don’t really have confidence in myself.”
 “Fuuko, you don’t mean that, do you?” Mikagami asked, a little on the soft side. “You know you’re not like that.”

 “Oh, yeah, try telling that to everyone,” Fuuko said. “Even to my inner voice. All my life I’ve been treated like a boy, no one dares to taunt me because they know I would retaliate or beat them up—no one really knows the side of me—”

 “Matte!” Mikagami said. “That’s it, Fuuko. No one would make you feel bad—you have to trust in yourself—who cares what other people think? Your world doesn’t revolve around them, does it?”

 Fuuko looked at Mikagami closely and curiously. Is this really Mikagami talking? Fuuko suspected it wasn’t, since Mikagami looked really serious all the time—Mikagami wouldn’t say something so sweet and so…well, encouraging. Somehow everything that Mikagami said wasn’t what he really meant to say. He’s being really weird. Ever since Fuuko tried to talk to him after the “Hokage Party”.

 “Fuuko?”

 “Huh?” Fuuko snapped back to reality. “Oh, gomennasai, I was zoning out on you there… Um. Well. Everything you said is sweet and stuff, but even I couldn’t bring myself to trust that words, Mi-chan. I guess…well, I guess I just couldn’t trust it until I really believe in myself—and right now, I don’t really have my confidence.”

***

Tokiya really wished that he could give Fuuko the confidence she needed—she has a really low self-esteem. Where did that come from? Tokiya always thought that Fuuko was the kind of girl who could take care of herself, who’s always confident in what she’s doing, who always knows what she’s doing or what she’s going to do. But he guessed that even though Fuuko didn’t look like it, she has some issues with her confidence as well.

 What she need is a confidence-booster. Now, if only that’s available in stores near him…

***

Fuuko sighed—it’s just another cold day where the breeze is blowing bitterly in her face. Maybe it’s true what Mikagami says, that the wind follows her mood. Right now she does feel kind of bitter after what Mikagami said about her confidence. Really, who cares what he thinks? Who cares what others think? Maybe Fuuko should forget about this thing. It’s not like it matters much to anyone. Even Mikagami wouldn’t care about that. He’s got his own problems, probably concerning Mifuyu.

 Fuuko found herself stopping at the deserted playground again. This time the seesaw looked kind of broken, like some fat kids sat on it altogether, and the slide looked dirty—probably because of the nasty rain last night… All that raining with the wind blowing hard outside…

 This time, Fuuko didn’t hesitate to sit down at the swing. The swing is really one of her favorites of all playgrounds’ stuffs. It just allows her to sit, think and play at the same time—if there was an exercise thing like that, she would be really fit. Not that she needed to, she’s perfectly happy the way she is. Now there’s a positive thought, Fuuko thought with a little smile. But it takes a lot more than that to make her truly happy.

 Fuuko just sat there, thinking all about her sister and her mom, whether both of them are happy even though both are at different places. Very different places, she might add. Maybe Fuuko should’ve followed her mom to Europe—it wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

 Maybe it would, Fuuko thought bitterly. One look at me and they would classify me as a bimbo with the big bust. It’s probably best to stay here with all the perverts. It wouldn’t seem so bad because the perverts are in a way her friends. Weird, but it’s true.

 “So are you ready to boost your confidence?”

 And once again, Fuuko failed to take grasp of the swing’s chains and lose her balance. “Aaaiiieee!” she cried, falling on the ground again. She heard Mikagami laughing a little and her face burnt. “Would you stop it with that?!” she screamed, strangling Mikagami in the process. :) Fuuko wouldn’t really change, ne?

 “Couldn’t help it.” He sat down as Fuuko possessed her swing again.

 “One would actually think a baka like you enjoy that fall,” Fuuko said, rolling her eyes. Even though she was a little bitter toward Mikagami, she could take some company. After all, she already felt crappy—Mikagami couldn’t make that worse. (Could he? :p)

 “So. Are you ready?”

 “For what?”

 “A confidence-booster.”

 “What is this? A joke?”

 “No,” Mikagami said with a glint in his eyes. “Get ready for a confidence-booster.”

 Awkward silence follows them.

 “Um…I’m waiting,” Fuuko said, straining not to throw Mikagami a sarcastic smile.

 “Oh,” he said, shrugging. “Are you ready to talk about your sister?”

 “Nanii!” Fuuko said, enraged. “Mi-chan, you know that’s a soft spot! Once couldn’t reach that until I’m ready to let them reach there.” Still, Fuuko couldn’t help but feel helpless—she really would like to tell Mikagami about her sister.

 “Fuuko-chan, follow your instincts…”

 Fuuko looked steadily at Mikagami until she finally relented. She sighed. “Fine.” She looked at a distance for a while. “Well. Um, when I was 11, I used to have a sister. And I hit puberty”—okay, maybe that wasn’t necessary…—“and I got tired with playing with my sister. She’s just too nosy and she always wants to do what I was doing.

 “At first, of course, I was annoyed. I have new interests now—one that my sister couldn’t share. I mean, what would she care about boys? She hasn’t hit puberty yet. So this one day I just took a walk home with one of my guy friends, and my sister got kind of…well, curious.

 “It was an innocent walk, just a walk home from a friend, it’s not what you think,” Fuuko said, noticing Mikagami’s look. “Well, when she confronted it to me in front of my guy friend, I was of course very embarrassed. I just ran from the scene, leaving my guy friend behind (confused, nonetheless) and my sister chasing me, saying “matte”, “wait” and all that.

 “I was angry. I just kept running. Until I heard my sister screamed…” Fuuko closed her eyes and take a deep breath. “She…we didn’t really hear the car coming, and I just thoughtlessly cross the road…well, I guess I was fortunate, but my sister wasn’t.” Fuuko didn’t realize it yet, but she let out a little choked sob.

 Mikagami, aware of the sob, didn’t know what to do. “It’s okay, Fuuko, you can keep telling me—I don’t mind… oh crap, don’t cry…”

 Fuuko rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands and gave out a nervous laugh. “Don’t—I mean, don’t be worried or anything,” she said. “This always happens when I reminisce about my sister… or my mother, for that matter… Uh… where was I?”

 “You were saying your sister was unfortunate, Fuuko-chan,” Mikagami said softly, a little uneasy. “Listen, if you want to stop, you can… I know how painful it is to recall a tragedy…”

 “No! You asked me to tell you this,” Fuuko said angrily. “I’m not letting that go so easily…” Oh, nice move, Fuuko.
“And…well, she was there…just lying there like a mannequin… Lifeless. Her eyes were closed, but I was sure she didn’t die yet—I still saw her breathing. If only I had called the police that time, she wouldn’t have die yet…

 “Instead, you know what I did?” Fuuko laughed. “Silly me, I talked to her, telling her how sorry I am. Crap, that’s what I am. I’m a baka not to realize that the more I talk to her, the more she’s slipping away from me. I was damned selfish. Now I realize that I didn’t care about her at all—all I care was that I get to say sorry to her.”

 Fuuko sniffed. “I don’t blame myself for it—I’m not one of that person who pitied themselves constantly, no offence”—Mikagami took it well—“but one of my regrets is that I didn’t call the police, that I was so selfish as to let her die there… I mean, I know it’s my fault, but what’s gone is gone…”

 A long silence followed them, but it wasn’t the awkward silence—just the kind of silence that would make you feels relaxed, the one that you’ve been waiting for…

 “How do you feel now?”

 “Much better, actually…” Fuuko said, smiling a little and rubbing her eyes again. “I mean, someone finally knows about it… I finally tell someone about it and not mopping around about it.” She smiles again. “I feel good.”

 “Do you feel…more confident?”

 Fuuko looked at Mikagami, surprised. Then she laughed. “Is that what this is about? To give me a confidence-booster?” Fuuko said, smiling and laughing. “You are so sweet—but cold. Ah well, one can’t be too perfect, eh, okama?”

 Mikagami gave Fuuko that sharp-eyes glance. “If you still wanna live…”

 Fuuko laughed. “Gomen, gomen…” she said. “Thanks, anyway. Where did you get the weird idea that if I let it all goes, I’ll be more confident?”

 Mikagami blushed. (Eh? 0_o) “I’m new to this, Fuuko-chan,” he said.

 “Ah well, it’s still a good deed, ne?” Fuuko said, smiling. “And a good deed needs a reward… Hmmm… what shall I give you for your try to make me feel confident?”

 “A thanks would be great,” Mikagami said dryly, rolling his eyes.

 Fuuko laughed again. “Sweet,” she said, giving Mikagami a peck on the cheek. She got up from her swing and began to walk home. She heard low running footsteps behind her.

 “Iie? What was that for?!” Mikagami said, touching his cheek, turning red with embarrassment. (His mouth got real big while scolding Fuuko)

 Fuuko laughed—for the umpteenth time. “Oh, come on,” she said. “I know it’s too much for you, but you deserve it.”

 Mikagami blushed. “No, I don’t.” He fumed. “What I need is a real kiss,” Fuuko suddenly heard him mutter.

 Fuuko stopped dead in her tracks. “NANII?!”

 Mikagami turned to Fuuko. “What?” Uh-oh. Did she really hear that? Mikagami thought.

 “You just said…”

 Mikagami sighed. “Yes, I know what I just said,” he said. “And I don’t deny it.”

 Fuuko looked puzzled and worried. Eh? Where did worry come from? Mikagami thought nervously. “Mi-chan…” she said softly, trying to force a laugh. “Your brain has melted.”

 “No, my brain hasn’t melted,” Mikagami said furiously. He looked down at his feet. “But my heart has.”

 Mikagami finally brought his face up to see Fuuko looking at him in a weird way. “Don’t think less of me because of this,” Mikagami said as he cupped Fuuko’s face in his hands and kissed her lightly on her lips.

 Their lips parted after a while, and a nervous smile escaped Mikagami’s lips. “I’m sorry I had to do that—I guess it was my last option to make you more confidence.”

 Fuuko laughed feebly. “Um, it’s a lame attempt.” Without warning, Fuuko kissed Mikagami again and put her arms around Mikagami’s shoulders. Then she pulled herself back. “But you know what? It worked. How stupid is that?”

 But Mikagami didn’t care about that anymore. What he cared about was Fuuko, and he for one knows that Fuuko returns that feeling to him as they both kissed together in the deserted playground.