Sailing the High Seas
by Ling-chan

 Hullo everyone! I’ve FINALLY gotten down to writing the continuation of ‘A-Cruising We Will Go’. Expect some corny jokes, Fuuko and Yanagi in bathing suits and LOTS of nosebleeds and sweatdrops.  Some lemony tinges also thrown in. Comments are readily welcome but be kind with the criticism. I’m still 12!!! *whines* Only gonna be 13 in December. Bummer! = (   Anyways, ENJOY!!!!!!! ^.^

P.S. Written in either Fuuko or Tokiya’s point of view. Hope you are able to tell the difference! ^.^

P.P.S. ‘Oni’ means demon, ‘kuso’ means shit and ‘shimatte’ means damn.

Yours truly, Saicho, Kuukai, Nan, Daikoku, Misora, Menou, Tsukeshiro, Kashemaru, Gashakura and Fujimaru

“Welcome minna-san to the luxurious cruise ship, ‘Restful Life’,” announced Tatsuko, clad in a skimpy bikini. “Hello Recca!!!” She waved frantically at him, trying to get him to tear his eyes off Yanagi for just one second to notice her. Tough luck! Unfortunately for her, Domon’s eyes were faster. In a blink of an eye, he had glomped onto her. Remember Fuuko, NEVER underestimate Domon’s speed when he’s after a bikini-clad babe.

I looked around. “This is one HECK of a cruise ship man,” I thought to myself as I turned my head from my left to my right just to see the whole ship. Slipping my sunglasses on, I proceeded on to the ship as I watched Tatsuko try to get out of Domon’s bear hug in vain. I silently murmured my thanks to Tatsuko for distracting that beefcake for a while. I entered the ship.
I was late, very late. By the time I had gotten to the ship, everyone had already boarded. It was fashionable to be late, wasn’t it? I calmly paid the taxi fare and proceeded up the cruise ship with the same cool as ice air that I maintained most of the time. I glanced around the ship after entering. Not too bad! I’d seen bigger ones in my seventeen years but still, it was worthy of me, the cool, poised, refined Tokiya Mikagami. If fate was kind, I might actually enjoy this trip. Of course, the chances were one in a billion with those stupid monkeys and their playmates hanging around. I sighed. Walking forward, I tried to find my way around the large ship and hoped not to bump into any zoo animals. Especially a certain monkey bisexual referee who is in love with both me and Fuuko.
I was in my own private cabin room now. Aah! No more having to sleep with ANYONE like in the hotel room at the Ura Butou Satsujin. I jumped onto my water bed. It was sooooo comfortable. I lay on it for a while, enjoying the soft sheets and clean smell of the sheets. “Time to go and get an incredible tan Fuuko,” I said to myself before locking the door of my cabin and changing into my brand new black bikini. One could never be safe with a pervert like Fujimaru around.

After changing, I stepped out of the room. The coast was clear. I went back into the room to get a towel and a bathrobe in case SOME people were too appreciative of my body in a bikini. Well equipped with some suntan lotion too, I walk out of the corridor and headed to the deck. Then I spotted Tokiya. “Ohayo Mi-chan!” I called out. He nodded and went into his room. How coincidental! His room was next to mine, which meant that I had to share a balcony with him. Hmm!!! Imagine sneaking into his room and taking a picture of him sleeping. I could imagine him with his always-perfect hair disheveled with drool sliding down the side of his mouth. Muahahahah!!!!! I morphed into an oni for a while, then regained my sanity and reaching the deck.
Saicho and Misora were already there. I waved to them and jokingly asked them if they were staying in the same room. I never knew that people could go redder than fresh tomatoes. New discovery for Kirisawa Fuuko!!! Anyway, they quickly exchanged glances and shook their heads frantically. I laughed then flopped on a deck chair and proceeded to lather myself with suntan lotion. The sun was just hot enough for a tan to rival the Hawaiian bathing beauties. Things were looking G-O-O-D!
There was a banging on the door of my cabin. Funny, as far as I knew, only Fuuko had seen me on board and she was headed for the deck. I opened the door and was almost trampled on by a furious Domon. “What do you want?” I asked the lump of muscle-bound flesh, trying to fix my lovely hair. “WHY ARE YOU IN THE ROOM NEXT TO FUUKO’S?” he demanded. “I was assigned to this room. Got a problem with that?” “OF COURSE, THAT MEANS THAT YOU CAN SNEAK INTO HER ROOM ANYTIME YOU WANT. WHICH MEANS THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY CATCH HER NAKED AND YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO HER WHEN SHE’S SLEEPING AT NIGHT.” He promptly fainted with the visions of what he just uttered burning in his head.

Baka no yarou. He actually dared to dirty my carpeted cabin floor with his nosebleeding. With a mighty kick, I flung him out of the room. Fuming, I locked the door and went back to doing my hair. The chambermaids could clean up the mess if the ship was really THAT good.
The tan was coming around just fine when I spotted Recca and Yanagi at the deck too. Yanagi was sporting a red swimming costume not unlike the ones in Baywatch and by the looks of it, Recca was enjoying the view of Yanagi TREMENDOUSLY. Then he saw me and his nosebleed nearly flooded the whole deck. As luck would have it, Fujimaru stepped on deck at the moment with Minamio and Daikoku at his side. The deck really flooded with a mixture of blood and drool this time. It was thigh-high. “Domon had better not come if not, we’d all be drowning,” I mused in my mind.

“Hey Ugly! I never knew you looked SO good in a bikini!” “Fujimaru, you saw me half-naked before and I’m not UGLY!” I kicked him in the part that hurts most and he doubled over in pain as I went back to tanning myself. Stupid Fujimaru! Trust him to crush my ego by calling me ugly. If only Raiha was here. I’m sure that HE would know how to properly enjoy the view of me right now. Sigh!
After twenty minutes of sitting in front of the mirror, I was done. Giving my hair one last check, I headed out of my cabin with Armani suit and my handy portable Ensui in my pocket. You couldn’t blame a guy for being careful now could you? Wanting to avoid the monkeys, I chose to go to the library. No monkey in its right mind would be there now. It was too much for their brains. Maybe Kagerou would be there, then we could have an intellectual conversation on madouga.

I switched on the radio beside me to stop me from falling asleep of boredom. I gave myself a check-over. The sun tan was coming out beautifully. I checked my watch, it was twelve pm and Domon was nowhere to be seen. I looked around, sure that I would find him romancing some VERY unwilling referee but he was not. “Just wait a few more minutes to complete the tan then go look for that oaf before he gets himself into serious trouble,” I told myself.

Five minutes passed and I had a lovely bronzed body. I put on my bathrobe and headed off the deck. Only Saicho and Misora, Recca and Yanagi, Minamio and Daikoku were left on the deck. Three lovely couples! Wait a minute, two lovely couples sorry. Minamio and Daikoku weren’t gay, weren’t they? Another unsolved mystery waiting to be unraveled. Right now, Fuuko, the great Japanese version of Sherlock Holmes, was concentrating on finding out Domon’s whereabouts. Minamio and Daikoku could wait till after lunch.

I went to Domon’s room. Room 9 if I wasn’t wrong. I knocked then entered, figuring that he was asleep. I saw Tsukishiro instead. Tsukishiro, with facial cream complete with cucumber slices on his eyes on. I walked over and removed the cucumber slices. He screamed then freaked out after he realized that it was me. “Don’t tell anyone about that ok? Please?” “What were you doing with them on anyway?” I asked, giving the cucumber slices a check. “Well, I HAVE to take GOOD care of my skin if I want to be beautiful always, you know. How do you think I have such GREAT complexion.” “Whatever. Where is Domon’s room anyway?” “Room eleven. Hurry up and get out, I need to get some beauty too.” “Gag me with my third finger,” I muttered then strode out of the room. So vain!
Entering room eleven, I found out that Domon was not there. Sighing, I returned to my room. Then, I saw him. At the corridor, I saw him lying there in a pool of blood. “DOMON!!!!!!” I screamed and tried to shake him up. I was so relieved when he opened his spirally eyes and woke up. “What’s with all the blood Domon?” “Oh, I was envisioning you naked and you and I were…” “YOU DIRTY HENTAI!!!!!!” I sent him flying into the air and slammed the door of my cabin shut and put on the deadbolt. Stupid hentai!!!! Blood vessels popped up all over my head and the temperature in the room rose up a notch. No point getting high blood pressure over that gorilla. I did some yoga, had a shower then changed into jeans and a T-shirt to go for buffet lunch.
At the dining room, I saw most of the referees there. Since Satomi was the nearest to me, I grabbed her aside and asked her what the referees were doing there. “Oh, we’re supposed to provide entertainment here and host the programmes lined up for you all!” she said with a smile. Then she went back to the LONG queue at the buffet table. With such a long queue, I wondered when I was going to have lunch. Sigh. It was going to be a LONG way to lunch.
I glanced at my clock and decided to go for lunch. Steering myself towards the dining room, I saw Kuukai, Gashakura and Kagerou. They waved and I said hello. Nee-san always taught me to be polite to my elders. Together, we went to the dining room and shared a table. Nemi bounced up in her rat suit and took our orders. Thank goodness the ship had several dining rooms and I had the sense not to go to the buffet dining room since I was dead sure that the monkeys would be there.

I ordered some sashimi and chatted a bit with my companions. After a rather enjoyable lunch, I joined them in a game of cards in the games room then we played a little pool. Maybe fate was actually being quite nice. I’d only seen one monkey so far. Better not say too fast. I shifted my concentration to the pool game and moved in to make my aim.
To say that the food at the buffet was delicious was an understatement. It was HEAVENLY!!!! I went for three rounds, as did everyone else. I was sitting with Kaoru, Ganko and Kondo. Kondo spouted off some smart remarks about me getting flabby and got a beating for that while Kaoru and Ganko savoured their food. “Umm, this food is great!” Kaoru muttered between bites. Ganko nodded enthusiastically in agreement, trying to impale a tomato on her fork without much luck. “Do you guys want to go to the arcade later?” “YEAH!!!!”, “UH HUH!!!!!” and “OKAY!!!!!” were the answers I got. “Well, hurry up and eat then. I’m going off after I finish.” “Don’t worry Fuuko-nee! We’ll be fast!” Following her remark, Ganko began to swallow her food down like a whale. I was surprised that she didn’t choke.
So we spent the afternoon in the arcade with Domon, , Menou, Kashemaru Recca and Yanagi. I won every game and even managed to defeat Recca twice at Streetfighter! GIRLLLL POWERRRR!!!!! Around six pm, we heard an announcement over the PA system. “Will all guests please gather in the ballroom at eight pm sharp for our ‘games nite’. Thank you,” Toraha’s voice said.

Like good children, we did as they said and gathered in the ballroom at eight sharp after having dinner at the buffet dining room again. After being seated by Umi, we enjoyed a little skit put up by the referees and had some games and even did the conga! By the time we were done, it was ten thirty and most of us headed off to bed.
I decided against going to the silly ballroom ‘games nite’. It was stupid, ridiculous and an insult to someone with my kind of intelligence. I went for a dip in the swimming pool on the deck instead. It was great! No one was there to admire me practically buck naked except for my Speedo swimming trunks. I didn’t wear my swimming cap since I knew that my flowing silver locks would not be bothering anyone if I let them down. Time drifted by as I lazed around in the water. I had done at least one hundred and fifty laps by the time it was ten thirty.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of feet on the deck and decided to get out of the pool. Because of the design of the swimming pool, when I climbed out of the pool, my back was facing the intruder to my quiet privacy. Before I managed to turn around to go get my stuff from a nearby deck chair, I felt someone glomp me. “Hey, girly! Lemme join you in bathing topless!” I recognised that voice immediately. It was the dreaded voice of Fujimaru. I spun around and sent him flying up into the air. “I AM NOT A GIRL!” I shouted as I got my things and stormed back to my room, fuming all the way. Luckily, no monkeys were in sight so they were spared from a raving me.

Back in my room, I took a shower and changed into my pajamas. In other words, my comfy shirt and sweat pants, NOT teddy bear print kiddy PJs. Looking out of the full-glass sliding door which led to the balcony, I decided to spend some time moon-gazing, my all-time favourite hobby since the days of Mifuyu. I leaned on the railing and sighed a small sigh. I still had not avenged Mifuyu yet. When I finally did, Meguri Kyoza would PAY. DEARLY. I turned around and headed back to my room, glancing at Fuuko’s room while doing so. I stopped dead in my tracks.
After going back to my room, I washed up and got ready to go for bed. Glancing out of the full-glass sliding door, I saw the moon and smiled. It had been an albeit fun day! I walked over to the stereo set and blasted some rock music from my favourite CD that I had brought along. I then proceeded to change into my pajamas, forgetting that Tokiya could go to the balcony any time, turn around and see me naked. It was one of the BIGGEST mistakes that I EVER made. After taking out my top and unhooking my bra, I turned to look at the moon again. Funny, when was a Tokiya statue erected at the balcony. Wait a minute! IT’S NOT A TOKIYA STATUE, IT’S TOKIYA!!!!!!! I screamed and hurriedly pulled the blankets up to my neck. “HENTAI!!!!!!!” I screamed. Another BIG mistake. My scream brought EVERYBODY rushing into my room. Domon, Recca, Yanagi, Kaoru, Ganko, Kondo, Kagerou, Kuukai, Saicho, Daikoku, Minamio, Fujimaru, Misora, Menou, Tsukishiro, Kashemaru, Gashakura and all the twelve referees burst into the room, all clad in different pajamas and some in several states of undress.
Chaos broke out after that. Realizing that I was half-naked, the more hentai of the lot started drooling or nosebleeding. Tokiya remained that silver coloured statue and I thought I saw a barely visible red drop trickle out of his nose. I couldn’t take it anymore. “EVERYBODY GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!” I yelled at the top of my noise. Nobody budged. “Kuso,” I cursed under my breath.
I had seen her. Seen her topless. I never knew hers were so big. I felt something trickle out of my nose. “TOKIYA, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???” a hysterical voice in my head called out. I immediately straightened up. With as much poise and refined dignity a peeping tom could gather, I strode back into my room and locked the sliding door before I drew the thick curtains over them so I would not be caught bottomless by anyone. I went to the bathroom, washed my face and went to bed, hoping that all this was just a dream and that everyone would forget about it by the next morning. Oh yeah, mental note Tokiya, you are getting OFF this ship tomorrow morning. As soon as possible.
After Tokiya walked back into his room without a word, I thought to myself, “Did I really see Tokiya nosebleed?” But, since more important mysteries had to be solved, I tuned my brain to reality. Most of the men were losing blood and saliva a gallon by the second especially after discovering the several women in partial nudity. Wrapping the blanket securely around me, I stomped to the bathroom, locked the door and continued changing. When I came out, they were all gone. Thank goodness. Looking at the moon for third time, I cursed and swore. Tonight was definitely NOT a good night. I cleaned up the mess of blood and drool and went to get some sleep. Tomorrow, I was getting OFF the cruise no matter what. I already had my desired tan and I wanted to go home and forget about EVERYTHING that had happened tonight.  But now, I needed a little rest. I pulled the blanket that had saved me from further shame over myself as I snuggled onto my pillow and went to sleep soon.
I woke up and after taking my morning shower, packed all my stuff up. Looking around to check if any of my belongings still remained on this cursed ship, I quietly tiptoed out of the door. It was five forty-five am and as I had planned, no one was in sight. I walked past Fuuko’s door when I heard a creak.

After waking up at five fifteen am, I took a shower and stuffed all my belongings into my suitcase. I looked around the room once through to enjoy its spaciousness one last time before opening the door.  I opened the door silently, wincing when I heard a creak. I closed the door silently and muttered curses under my breath while doing so. I turned around, tripped over something and fell BUMP into someone.

I spun around and saw Fuuko falling towards me, her arms flailing helplessly. We landed with a loud BUMP and both of us swore. Now, the both of us were in a VERY awkward position. She was on top of me with my legs in between hers. Shimatte! Damn this bad-luck heaven of a ship.
Oh no!!! This was terrible!!!! I looked up from the chest that my face was buried in and found myself looking into the baby-blue eyes of TOKIYA MIKAGAMI!!!!!!!!! I screamed.

As Fuuko stirred from her position, she looked up from my chest and saw me. Then, she did the MOST ridiculous and moronic thing. She screamed. She just HAD to scream. The combination of the bump and her scream sent doors on the floor opening. Everyone’s head peeked out of the door then everyone burst out laughing after they saw our position. That imbecile sea-monkey opened his mouth and sent Fuuko and I into further humiliation. “Hey! If you want to have some fun go do it in the room. Jeez! Some people just don’t have the decency NOT to fool around in public.” He was history. Both Fuuko and I launched our attacks at the same time, creating a humongous dustball. When we were done, Recca Hanabishi became Recca Handicapped-for-the-rest-of-his-life-bishi. Yanagi muttered an “Oh Recca!” and healed him before you could utter Recca’s new name. Trying to regain our demeanours and salvage every last inch of pride that we had left, Fuuko and I walked out into the deck, tossed an emergency escape boat into the water and rowed back to the shore.
After rowing back to the shore and ending up in Hamamatsu, we bought train tickets and headed back to our homes. I never stayed at home for so long. When the cruise was finally over, Recca and the rest popped over and rambled on and on about the rest of the cruise, particularly about the whole Tokiya and me affair. I could only sigh and hit them REALLY hard. Stupid cursed cruise ship. Darned thing.
I tried avoiding the troop of monkeys in school after they came back but they managed to invade my privacy time and time again. They kept on talking about the rest of the cruise and tried to tease me and the Fuuko and me affair. Too bad, my feathers were VERY difficult to ruffle.  Still, I wish I never went on that stupid cursed cruise ship. Darned thing.